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Nazareth, Pa., United States

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Why I Like To Bike To Work

My B.U.V. (Bike Utility Vehicle)
I can give you all kinds of good reasons for riding a bike to work. I'm sure you've heard them all, too. Several times. Usually from pious bastards in leotards who think they're better than you. Let me tell you why I do it.

It's fun. That's it. Remember what it's like to barrel down a hill on a bike, full blast? How it feels to finally beat that hill? Or for some of you, that ethereal ride home in the dark, where strange sounds and sights greet you around every bend on a moonlit and lonely road?

It's always an adventure.

Some ride year round, but they're mostly aliens who work in local hospitals for some reason, getting things ready for the inevitable invasion. Ignore them and their bug suits.

Me, I can ride when the temp hits 70 degrees. Any lower than that and my hands and feet fall off. The aliens then pick them up and ride off with them.

Contrary to what you might have heard, the hardest part of bicycling is NOT the burning lungs, screaming thighs, cramped calves or those flat tires. It's not even the occasional spill, which I manage at least once every month.

It's the sore ass.

Believe me, whether you're an ultrarunner or NFL lineman, your ass is the last body part to adapt to the rigors of cycling.

My cycling commute is from Nazareth to Easton and back. Last week, I also cycled to a few meetings. Yesterday's meeting of Bethlehem Township Commissioners was canceled, so I took the long way home from the courthouse. I rode the entire length of the Palmer Bike Path, from Riverview Park to the 25th Street Shopping Center. Along the way, I ran into this gal.


When she spotted me, she took cover. But she really had nowhere to go because she was next to a cliff. I slowly rode past her and waved to her as she stood in the brush, trying unsuccessfully to hide.

She came out and, this time, began looking for an exit that took her closer to the Lehigh River.


As she disappeared into the brush again, I walked up and looked down, and there she was, looking right at me, saying toodleoo in deer talk.

In a car, you'll see a deer carcass from time to time. This was much cooler.

Then some bird shit on me.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thats nice. What the Hell was Ron angle doing on Business Matters tonight? That old washed up pol was still screaming, yelling and making a fool out of himself. what is wrong with Iannelli??

Bernie O'Hare said...

I don't know what Ron was doing and you are off topic.

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for the birdshit.

Anonymous said...

Because since 2005 you have had over 20 citations?!?! Look for yourself.

http://ujsportal.pacourts.us/DocketSheets/MDJ.aspx

Bernie O'Hare said...

Isn't it time for your drug cocktail, Tricia? Nighty-night. And I have more than 20 parking tickets since 2005. Get your facts right.

Anonymous said...

that wasn't bird shit. it was pig shit caused by the WWWE flying over and stalking you n

Anonymous said...

Cool post. That path along the river is also a nice ride. Power poles from the old trolley can be seen all along the way. Some still contain glass or ceramic fixtures. It provides a feeling of what it must have been like to ride an open trolley from Bethlehem to Easton along that beautiful river side path. Have you heard anything about Bushkill's proposed path? I thought they were doing something in cooperation with the Bushkill Creek Conservancy or something.

Bernie O'Hare said...

That is a nice stretch along the old trolley line. I like the area that parallels Hope Road the best. It is a little hilly, but I love the woods. It is cool this time of year, but not as buggy as the stretches along the river.

I did not know anything abut a stretch along the Bushkill. I'll ask aroud.

Anonymous said...

Great post Bernie, enjoyed it!

Bernie O'Hare said...

Merci. I was lucky to have my camera.

Canary_In_Coalmine said...

If you ride regularly and the distances aren't huge (i.e. greater than 30 miles), yet you still experience a sore posterior on a regular basis, you will probably benefit from experimenting with a more comfortable seat. A lot of bikes have hard seats because they're cheaper to make and create some efficiency. Go to your local bike shop and ask them for the most comfortable seat they have that will fit on your bike. You may have to push the bike shop to give you a seat that doesn't normally go on your bike, because they're purists who care way more about performance than they should. I have done this with great results. In my opinion, who cares if it's slightly out of the ordinary, or sacrifices a tiny bit of performance, as long as you're comfortable? If any Lance Armstrong wannabe mocks it, you can tell him to kiss your ____, which will no longer be sore.

Anonymous said...

Does this mean baths in the courthouse bathrooms again?

Anonymous said...

He never stoped.

Bernie O'Hare said...

This story comes from the Long Dems. I would presume they would be environmentally conscious and would want to encourage people to use alternative transportation. Instead, they act like little gossips and actually criticize someone for using a restroom for its intended purpose. I have been exercising for a year, and have been using the restrooms at the courthouse to change around, without a complaint by anyone. If you have a problem, you can complain to the Sheriff, the Exec or even County Council. Of course, you'll have to identify yourself. You'll also have to explain why using a bathroom to wash up or to change is so inappropriate. Good luck, asshole.